Wednesday, January 03, 2007
My resolution is....
I really thought it'd been like 2 weeks since I last wrote. It feels like enough has happened to fit into months.
It has been so up and down with my mom. She is 3 days shy of being in the hospital for a full month. A month! I think I've missed only 5 days of that whole time. I swear I hate the hospital, but I love the time with my mom. She was really bad there for a few days and it was scary. She's got almost all the side-effects of chemo, but add on to that pnemonia, and also she's developed some unknown infection in the last few days. Its just the weirdest thing because she was the picture of health before she checked into the hospital. She was even dancing around her room to keep entertained while she was getting her chemo drip. Then it just went bad. Fast. And now she's on the way up and it all just doesn't even seem like it happened. And through it all she's still joking around and even managed to work with the musical therapist to write a song that they put on a CD. I swear, she's amazing. And I feel like I've gotten really strong through this situation. I feel like I can handle anything.
And even though it was hard and I was worried about being away for a few days, Ryan's been having a rough time lately so I took him up to the ski resort for New Years. We went with Bec and Matt, just like last year. The first day the snow was so-so, but there were a million people up there. I'm a slow zig-zag across the mountain skiier, so I spent much of the day skiing solo, which I don't mind.
But then the trip went bad. The next day we went up again and the snow was more ice then fluff. Bec was sore from her rental boots, and I suspect she was feeling bad about me being solo (which is silly because I really don't mind being a lone skiier. I move faster through the lift lines!), so she stayed with me on the Midway lift and the boys went to the top. At about 11:20 we got up the lift to the halfway point and there's a crash from one of the upper runs right there. There's a ton of ski patrol guys around someone, and I see snowboards and I just get this sinking feeling in my stomach. But I went and looked, and the snowboards aren't Ryan's or Matt's, so I ski down.
When we get to the bottom we jump on the lift line. The ski patrol comes barreling through pulling the emergency sled behind them and tell me to move. So I back up. Then I look down as the sled passes and its Ryan's bloody face looking up at me.
I guess there was a ski patrol guy behind him when it happened. Ryan doesn't remember the accident, but the guy says Ryan caught a front edge on the icy snow and took a header. He hit so hard that his helmet flew off with the strap still clipped together. He was unconscious when they got to him, so they called a helicopter (which they eventually cancelled when he came to). When I got to him in the ski hut he was repeating himself and couldn't remember what happened. Anywho, I got a nice ambulance ride to the hospital at about 90 mph with lights and sirens. Bec and Matt took my truck, but I didn't have time to grab shoes so I ended up clopping around in ski boots in the ER for the next few hours.
Long story short, Ryan had a bad concussion (he was really sick to his stomach), and he's missing a chunk of skin from his face. It could have been SO much worse. If we hadn't bought that helmet for him last week.... I just don't even want to think about it. We are so lucky. He's still really sore and his face looks horrible, but he's alive and can move all his limbs.
Here's some fun broken Ryan pics. The first is in the ER. Can you tell how loopy he is? The second is a day later when he's not quite as happy.
Ryan kept telling me he couldn't believe I wasn't freaking out. He said he thought for sure I'd be crying. But for some reason, I didn't at all. I really think it has a lot to do with what's doing on with my mom. This whole time with my mom I haven't freaked out because I really felt like it would be bad, but that there WOULD be another side to it. And I think I knew that with Ryan too. I saw his toes move in the ski patrol hut, and that was enough for me to not freak out. Freaking out isn't going to help an emergency situation, so I just didn't.
Overall, I'm feeling pretty good about life today. My mom's making it through OK and there's an end in sight for her. My husband is alive. I've had more chances to talk to my far-away family lately because of the Cancer. My dad and I have become a little team taking care of my mom. My husband's got a new work schedule that will actually be better for us. Lots to be thankful for this New Year.
One little glitch in my hospital resolution is Fred. The doctor decided today that we can't just ignore him, so he's gotta come out. Poor Fred. And poor me because it means I get surgery and anethesia. But, in the grand scheme of things, its a teeny tiny thing. And its outpatient, and blah de blah... So there ya go. I'm just glad to have it done with. Although I will miss the little guy... :-)
I hope this post finds all of you happy and healthy in the New Year.
I'm Amanda. I'm an engineer in an industry full of men, a professional wedding and family portrait photographer, a firefighter's wife, a traveler, and a dogMa.