Monday, October 20, 2008
Like a kid in a.... jewelry store
So, I went into my mom's closet, and you would not believe what I found. My creative, practical mom had converted a giant fishing box into the mother of all jewelry boxes.
Right?! She has every little tiny drawer labeled with what's in there. So I brought this out to show my family, and we had a really good time looking at all the wonderful things she had in there. A lot of it was pieces that she'd made herself, including she has a whole collection of necklaces made from beautiful shells she found on the beach. I know these necklaces well, because even in the hospital she insisted on looking classy, down to the jewelry. And these necklaces always seemed to come with her. I know why... the beach was just so important to her. But for me, I know that some of those shells came from when she and I were walking on the beach together, just the two of us, in Florida this last January.
I was so overwhelmed by it all, that we decided that I should take the box home and decide what to keep, and what to give away. So I've had this box for 2 weeks now, and I realized this last week that every single morning I've been walking to the guest room, where I put the box, to see if there's anything of my mom's that I can encorporate. I've been feeling really guilty about the whole thing because it's just so much fun to have something new and different every day, but how can I feel happy about something like that? I KNOW my mom would be thrilled that I'm enjoying it so much, but you know...
A really thing has happened since my mom died. I actually started caring about fashion. Not just "eh, I think I should get a new shirt....", I've actually been lusting after things. If you knew me, you'd know this is out of character. I've gone purse shopping TWO DAYS IN A ROW this week. (Sadly, didn't buy anything. Did you know that cool purses are over $100?!)
I know a lot of it has to do with the fact that I've heard so much in the last few weeks how much I remind people of my mom, but I definitely have a lot of work to do to catch up with her. And no, I'm not just talking superficially. I've also heard countless times in the last few weeks how people never met anyone like my mom; she had infinite patience and compassion for every type of person. And if there were a store to get that, I'd be shopping for that too....
I'm Amanda. I'm an engineer in an industry full of men, a professional wedding and family portrait photographer, a firefighter's wife, a traveler, and a dogMa.