Saturday, February 10, 2007

Just thinking

I've been thinking a lot lately about why I haven't lost it. I read once that a person's general stress level is based on big events or changes in their life, so I went hunting and found this: Its a life stress test. Basically for every one of those events you add a certain number to your score.

Now truthfully, I added 44*3 for family member illness. I don't know if you're supposed to do that or not, but I figure with my dad in the hospital, my mom in the hospital, and my husband's accident, that seems right. And I only gave myself one illness for this surgery. I figured root canals were run-of-the-mill, so I ignored that. New house in the last year. New job in the last year. New car payment. Vacation (again, only gave myself that one once, even though I took three big vacations last year, four if you count Mexico). Who knew vacation ADDED to your stress level? Maybe I should stop taking them.

Point being, I'm at 370 points. Anything over 300 is high risk for a stress-related illness. But really? I don't feel stressed at all.

All through my mom's chemo I've waited for myself to breakdown or something. And I could tell people in my life were waiting for it too. Ryan especially. Sometimes I'd catch him looking at me, like he was looking really hard so he could see how close I was to the edge. But I feel fine.

If anything else I feel stronger. I'm a more duck-with-the-water-rolling-off-my-back type person then I ever was. Its just life, right? And shit happens.

But am I really dealing, or am I suppressing? Don't know I guess. But I feel OK, I really do. Mostly it helps to be worried about someone else instead of myself. You know?

Early morning ramblings becaue I just woke up from a really weird dream and was thinking about it...


On a different note, even though the car loan on that jeep added a whopping 24 points to my stress level, it is the most freaking fun ever! I swear I've never had so much fun driving a vehicle. That thing has three pieces to the roof, so its really easy just to take off the two front pieces to have like a huge sun roof. AWESOME. It helps that the weather is like 77 degrees here too. My head is gonna be super blonde in no time from that thing. Anyone wanna go for a ride?


Anonymous kross-eyed kitty said...

You'd best be investing is some of those bio-dots or stress squares!

12:02 PM  
Blogger Carmi said...

A ride in the Unlimited with the top off sounds like just the ticket to bring the old stress level down.

Sign me up! I'll even bring tunes!

12:52 PM  
Anonymous MissMeliss said...

Hey, thanks for stopping by my blog.
I hope you find a way to de-stress. For me, bubble baths and tea help a lot.

9:22 PM  
Anonymous Em said...

Love your outlook, and I vowed many years ago to NEVER own a car without a hole in the roof. They are SO much freaking fun!!

3:34 PM  
Blogger Kelli said...

Amanda, I have to say, I am truly impressed with the way you are handling everything on your plate right now. I was just telling Min that yesterday. I think you are such a trooper and doing a great job!

1:32 PM  
Blogger Lil' Bit said...

you've never come back from a vacation needing a vacation from your vacation? can we go on vacation together?

don't analyze how you feel on a day to day basis when you're going through a period of lots of life changing events. then you might have a breakdown (i usually do). you are doing a great job handling things, from what i can tell.

9:42 PM  

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    Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States

    I'm Amanda. I'm an engineer in an industry full of men, a professional wedding and family portrait photographer, a firefighter's wife, a traveler, and a dogMa.

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