Friday, September 15, 2006
Dirty Car? We can help!
Business out of the way, so on with the blog.
Dooce has a post today about relationship deal-breakers. I read her stories about her ex's and the insane things they did to cause her to run for the hills, and it got me to thinking about my past relationships. I've been pretty lucky, actually, to have a pretty good group of guys in my past.
My high school sweetheart, who I dated into my first and second year of college, was a good guy. A preacher's son. He was very popular and a lot of fun. Well, he cheated on me. When we were 20. And the girl was 15.
Then there was the boy who was all wrong for me. He listened to rap music, was extremely full of himself, wasn't necessarily good looking, but he made me feel really good about myself. Like I was something to be desired. Until he cheated on me.
Then there was the gorgeous bouncer. His nickname in high school was 'Chip' because he kissed a girl so hard that he chipped her tooth. I'm pretty sure he was gay. Its not like he made out with boys or anything, but come on! I dated the boy for 6 months and he didn't try anything. A girl can tell these things you know. I broke up with him to see if he'd come running after me. And he didn't. And I was devestated and cried in my dorm room for the better part of another 6 months.
Then there was the best friend of guy number 2 up there. Yeah, I dated best friends, so sue me. This one had the romance thing down. He made me melt. But then I found out that before we were dating he used to park his car in front of my parents' house on weekends that I was home from school just to be near me. And then he cheated on me with his roommate. And then I ran into him while he was trashed in a bar and he pinned me up against the bar and was a little pushy with me. He then got bounced from the bar, went outside and trashed a woman's yard in the area, and got arrested. Nice.
There were a few others. I can't say I didn't have my fair share of fun in college. Besides anything, I was a lone girl in an engineering program. I had my pick! And what a pick they were (ha! engineers!).
So what's my biggest deal-breaker? Cheating. I've had some experience in this area. I've been cheated on. People close to me in my life have been cheated on. There is no 3 strikes, not even 2, when it comes to cheating. I say that, but I've gone back to them. I went back to guy 1 and 2 after they cheated on me. I've never been more ashamed of anything in my life.
So there you go. My deal-breaker. :-) But now my current guy (ahem, that'd be my husband) is better then any guy I could have ever dreamed up. But I guess we use all those bad relationships to teach us which ones are the good ones, huh? I'm pretty thankful to all those assholes for teaching me that I deserve what I got: my perfect match.
(Random Karma D. Bear picture)
posted by atpanda at 8:13 PM
about me
About Me
- Name: atpanda
- Location: Mesa, Arizona, United States
I'm Amanda. I'm an engineer in an industry full of men, a professional wedding and family portrait photographer, a firefighter's wife, a traveler, and a dogMa.
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5 Comments:
Here from Michele.
Cheating. Yes, the relationship breaker. My ex-husband did this. He is gone. It's 18 years later and he is still gone.
I'm glad you found the best guy. I guess it takes kissing a lot of toads to get there. Hmm. Perhaps I didn't kiss enough toads until I kissed the big one.
I like your perspective on relationships: that the ones we have before we get married are preparatory to the one that matters. I couldn't agree more.
I often think back to the woman I dated before I met the woman who became my wife, and I cringe. But I realize they played an important role in my growing up. I learned what I liked and what I didn't, how to do the right thing and how to avoid the kinds of behaviors that would get me into trouble.
Most important of all, they taught me how to recognize the one woman who I was meant to marry. I'm glad I followed the path that I did. And reading your entry on your own journey has been an enlightening experience.
I wish I lived closer, because I'd bring my car for a wash and my camera so I could shoot with the master.
oh my gosh.. dont even get me started on my history!! i guess the point that you make though is to not live in the past and focus on now and the amazing man that you have now that treats you so well. go hug that boy and thank him for being wonderful :)
Karma would never cheat. Never ever. As long as you feed him.
are we talking about chip, ex-navy seal chip? i had no idea.
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